No I didn’t misspell it.
I was in church Sunday morning. We have a pre-service session of live worship music where we can individually take communion and quietly reflect. I was sitting with my wife Mary in the front row, the morning was cloudy and cold, hard surfaces outside were icy and it was unusually dark. Mary and I had already taken communion together and we had were just sitting quietly praying and thinking.
In My mind I was telling God that I felt estranged, like I was looking at him through a foggy window. I repented of my self indulgences and told him I felt like my like was slightly off. Like just a degree or two, but as I walked along, I was getting further and further from him. My physical posture while I prayed was bent at the waist with elbows on my knees and my head in my hands. Then I sat up straight and was surprised as I was suddenly enveloped in a sun beam. One beam was blasting through the cloud cover, sneaking past the arborvitae outside the windows, blazing through the glazing of the dusty window and shining on my face. I sat with my eyes closed even with my eyes closed, the light was getting past my eyelids and the sun was lighting up the inside of head.
It could’ve been a coincidence that I sat at that spot, at that time, on that day and the clouds just happened to open over our church but I don’t think so. I think I experienced a Son Beam and it was beautiful.
I read the first chapter of Johns Gospel recently. I think it describes the heart and ministry of Jesus.
“In him was life, and that life was the light of all mankind. The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it.”
John 1:4-5 – NIV
My mind tends to go to and grow darkness. I do believe in Jesus, he is my savior. He is my light. I believe he was reminding me of that role in my life.
Light has that power, darkness cannot overcome light. Darkness isn’t anything really except absence of light. When light arrives, darkness cannot stay.
King David said this about God in 2 Samuel: “You, Lord, are my lamp; the Lord turns my darkness into light.”
2 Samuel 22:29 -NIV
In my moodiness and seasonal and lifecycle depressions God still searches me out.
“If I say, “Surely the darkness will hide me and the light become night around me,” even the darkness will not be dark to you; the night will shine like the day, for darkness is as light to you.
Psalm 139:11-12 -NIV
Where He is, darkness cannot stay.
In the past, I have been in the pit of depression and I know some of the darkness that can overwhelm a person. It’s like living in the bottom of a hole and the shaft is so twisty and contorted that no light makes it in. Like the air itself becomes molasses and sucks up the light. My recovery was helped through medication and Godly counseling where my counselor kept bringing me back to Jesus. Eventually I got better but darkness wants to leap on me and roll me up again.
So, God sent me his son. And if that wasn’t enough, he also sent me a Son Beam.
Thank you for the reminder father. God please send your light to those who are wrapped up in darkness today. Burst forth like lightning and bring them light and freedom!❤️