I am a sinner.
I am a Christian.
I still occasionally sin.
I believe in Jesus, I believe in the Bible and try to follow God. Jesus summed up the rules. 1- Love the Lord your God with all of your heart, all your soul, all of your mind and all of your strength and 2- love your neighbor as yourself.
I fail in various and numerous ways.
Yesterday I really wanted to beat someone up. There’s a person in my life who behaves in a way that is like fingernails on the chalkboard of my soul. I wanted to slug, slap, hit, kick and beat that person until they stopped behaving in the way that was annoying me.
I did not do it but it was in my heart to do it. I even briefly fantasized about how it would feel. I guess you could say that I hated them. Jesus said that hating someone in my head is the same as killing them because it comes from the same place in the heart. Hating someone breaks rule number two.
What am I to do?
Psalm 51 discusses sin and repentance. I was prompted to read it today in my devotional guide.
“Purify me from my sins, and I will be clean; wash me, and I will be whiter than snow. Oh, give me back my joy again; you have broken me— now let me rejoice. Don’t keep looking at my sins. Remove the stain of my guilt. Create in me a clean heart, O God. Renew a loyal spirit within me. Do not banish me from your presence, and don’t take your Holy Spirit from me. Restore to me the joy of your salvation, and make me willing to obey you. Then I will teach your ways to rebels, and they will return to you. Forgive me for shedding blood, O God who saves; then I will joyfully sing of your forgiveness. Unseal my lips, O Lord, that my mouth may praise you. You do not desire a sacrifice, or I would offer one. You do not want a burnt offering. The sacrifice you desire is a broken spirit. You will not reject a broken and repentant heart, O God.”
Psalm 51:7-17 NLT
If My heart is repentant this morning, God will wash away the stain of my sin. He will create in me a clean heart. He will restore my relationship with him, he will refresh his presence in my life with his Holy Spirit.
God I repent of my anger and ask you to forgive me. Clean my heart, that place where I plotted evil, clean that out and fill up the space with you, your Holy Spirit. I want to tell others about your goodness so restore me to right standing with you and with that person that yesterday I wanted to hurt. May I see them as you see them. I forgive their fallenness because you have forgiven mine.